To the anti-gay person: do you know 25 people? Add your friends, coworkers, immediate and extended family, neighbors, church members, teachers, students, personal trainer, coach, etc. Chances are you know hundreds, if not thousands of people. But forget the thousands you know or have met and focus on just 25 because at least one of them is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. In fact, the Williams Institute estimates that 4% of the American population is LGBT.
Now, I’m going to ask that you try something that may be difficult or might make you uncomfortable—make this one individual someone you love. Imagine it is your child, sibling, friend, etc. Push aside the hate, disgust, conviction, or logic you would normally use to condemn them, and instead, replace that with the love and admiration you have for them. It is critical you do this because your opinion matters!
If you think I’m talking about those warm feelings your loved one will have when they feel accepted by you, I don’t think you’re understanding me. The very way you feel about homosexuality matters and here’s why: when you feel a certain way, sometimes it’s what you don’t say or don’t do that can have more impact than those things you do. It is difficult enough for any child raised in a home hearing derogatory comments about homosexuals to come out to their families, but it can be equally difficult for a child to come out to a parent who has never publically and authentically embraced LGBT individuals.
Often LGBT persons bear the burden of their same sex attractions alone. Eventually, for most LGBT who endure this struggle, they come to a point of maturity in their life where they have come to accept themselves and their sexuality. It is unfortunate, however, that a large number of LGBT do not find this acceptance until their mid to late 20s or 30s. This causes these homosexual, bisexual, and transgender men and women to experience an adolescence of sorts at an age in which they should be much more equipped to handle the intricacies of dating. What a travesty it is that these LGBT individuals have tragically missed opportunities to accommodate to their new life!
Ironically, large segments of the population have faulty misconceptions that LGBT individuals are all lustful, hypersexual, “in your face”, or what have you, while failing to realize that their very condemnation, whether silent or loud, is perpetuating the stigma LGBT unfairly carry. This spoken or unspoken opinion is delaying the inevitable process of self-discovery. Should heterosexual people come to embrace and speak publically in favor of LGBT individuals, then those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender could have a chance to grow along with their peers in the murky waters of dating and sexuality.
So back to your loved one, do you want them emotionally and relationally stunted? Or would you prefer that they find love and establish boundaries, principles, and strong relationships earlier in life? If the latter, then speak up, your opinion matters!
